Dear friend of mine, who I no longer want to call a friend.
Yes, I have cancer, and I can joke about it. Why? I've accepted the fact that I have it, and I'm getting through it, and if I don't laugh a bit I'll go crazy. There's humour in everything. Deal. Your father has throat cancer? Sorry to hear it, I'm still going to joke about my own.
BTW, you should try calling your dad, voice or no, and talking to him. Believe me it will go a lot farther towards making him feel better and giving him hope, than abandoning him like you did me. Since you stopped talking to me completely the moment you found out, and your constant "I should probably call him" comments make me think you've done the same to him. Coward. Fucking coward. Just one phone call will brighten the man's day, and might even carry him through several days of chemo-driven depression. I know my time would have been brighter had you not abandoned me. Don't be that guy to your dad too...
Oh, and I may be single, with my libido returning now that chemo is almost over, but do not think for a moment you have a chance with me. If you're only interested when things are cool, I'm not interested. I need someone who's going to be there when the chips are down too. The fact that you only seem to want to talk when I'm single and fine... well, I got friends who actually give a damn.
I will call you out on your bullshit. That's what friends are for. I've known you for too long. You bottle up, you turn into a recluse, and then you complain that you haven't heard from anyone. Well no shit, people stop calling when you don't pick up the phone and call them back for months. Do not whine to me about the same issue you always have, when you know how to solve it. Pick up a damn phone, reach out and touch someone.
I should beat you with the spoons I have left.
The girl who now dismisses you as weak.