?

Log in

Bitches · Need · Spoons


Momentary Rant

Recent Entries · Archive · Friends · Profile

* * *
It's a completely minor problem, not really worthy of a spoon's worth of writing, but it's there.

Phobias.

We hates them. We hates them forever. More to the point, we hates dealing with them on a regular basis. I'm still phobic of needles. Yes, even after all this time getting stabbed with increasing regularity. Now that I have begun radiation, I'm still dealing with them. I keep getting told I would be getting small dot tattoos in order to do the radiation thing. So far it's been stickers. Sounds great, but each time I go in to have it done, I think "Is today tattoo day?" Each time I go in I'm a bundle of stress until they say  "Nah, we'll do it next time." Next time rolls around, and there's the anticipation again.

At least I'm no longer so body shy that being topless in front of someone worries me. At this point I just don't care.

A couple days ago, a spider with a death wish dropped from the ceiling and paused, MI:1 style, right in front of my face. An inch or two closer, and it would have been ON me. I do not deal well with spiders. I respect life, however, spiders and I have an agreement. They stay away from me, and I do not actively kill them. They come too close or touch me, it's game over.

I have 2 other phobias, both of which I've also had to deal with. I'm not going to explain - I know the sources and how and why, it doesn't change the fact that they still make me very tense unto the point of distraction. One's fading, but slowly. The other... still there. I think the only phobia I haven't had to deal with this week is heights.

Still, all this primal fear takes a lot out of a body. It's hard sometimes.
Current Mood:
calm calm
* * *
* * *
[User Picture]
On December 10th, 2007 04:35 am (UTC), zja2 commented:
I have been very lucky that none of my phobias have been things I have to deal with on a regular basis (of course, if you never have to deal with them, you're never going to get rid of them). I do find it very interesting that your issue with needles hasn't abated any given the insane amount of contact you've had with them.
* * *

Previous Entry · Leave a comment · Share · Next Entry